Conversational Geekiquette

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Encounters with Parents or Owners of Small Replicants

Scenario #1: Surprisingly, you've been invited to a summer party. While strolling around, you encounter a bulging baby carriage, perhaps managed by your host. With trepidation, you remove your 3D sunglasses and look into it.

“What a cute little porker!”

(Best not to use this joyful phrase - unless you are certain the parents are not Jewish or Muslims.)

“Well, aren't you the cutest code bloated little applet.”

(Scientifcally correct, we all contain DNA code. Also accurate in the sense that the bloat from the continued replication of the same "lard-assical" cell types is not particularly useful, or healthy. Still, "code bloat" is not a commonly used term in the civilian population, and your use of it may lead to some misgivings about inviting someone to the festivities with an elitist attitude.)

What to do? To show a more empathetic side of you, we suggest using:

“Negative coping strategies in the form of the accumulation of adipose tissue have become a familiar and reliable way to protect oneself from the 'slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.' And cherumbo here looks well prepared to carry on the fight.”

Yes, we'd go with that one. Alternatively, you might try the shorter version:

“Wow! What is it?”

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